I MISS HER BUT SHE DOESN’T MISSES ME… WALA EH.. NGANGA
Problems?
Bully sa school? Tuition Fee na di mabayaran? Broken-hearted at sawi sa pag-ibig? Kung ito LANG ang mga dahilan para mag SUICIDE, anak ng tipaklong!! MALI ang pagpapalaki natin sa ating mga anak. Paano pa sila sasabak sa mga mas matinding pag subok sa kanilang hina harap? Mas Bully pa yung pulis na hulidap at switik na Arabong amo. Mas malaki pa ang problema kung naputulan ng kuryente at tubig ng 3 buwan. Mas masakit para sa LAHAT kung nag hiwalay ang mag-asawang 8 ang anak. Mas marami pang mas MALAKI ang problema pero pilit na nakikipag laban para ma BUHAY! ANAK, dont take the easy way out. Stop believing the bullshit cause LIFE, really, ain’t fair! At sa mga MAGULANG…STOP MAKING OUR CHILDREN WIMPS AND PUSSIES!! Teach ‘em to make a stand and fight for LIFE!…at kung di nyo ako ma gets, hala…tawid sa Commonwealth.
- Ocampo, Kix (My Dad)
Replacement
Somebody told me “replace means trading something for the exact same thing…”
But how could I find a person like you???
A person who was always there when I needed someone to talk to…
A person who would cancel appointments with others just to accompany me…
A person who laughs to my oh so corny jokes…
A person who likes me for my flaws and insecurities…
A person who compliment me for my success and achievements…
A person who I thought that will never leave me…
How could I replace her?
Renewing or upgrading to get something better…
What if I don’t want something better?
What if I’m happy with what she offers me?
What if I’m contented with the insults and compliments I get from her?
Remove all the what ifs and that’s what I want…
Not knowing what will be happening next…
I’m still hoping for things to turn out for the best…
Like anybody else, I too don’t want to lose a friend… For my situation a bestfriend…
The bestfriend who made me vain(?) Hahaha…
The bestfriend who I slept with like 3 times or so… (No bad thoughts please)
The bestfriend who my family knows and thinks that is like my gf ((-.-))
The bestfriend who I chose to be with instead of any other friends…
The bestfriend who I’ve gotten(?) A date with
The bestfriend who heard me cry via phone…
The bestfriend who I’ve gotten mad with because she has many bestfriend (not that I’m not like that, it’s just that nakakainggit e, basta)
The question is… Do I want a replacement? Will I renew and/or upgrade?
I don’t know …
The bottomline is, I miss her, I miss her so freaking bad…
Friendship…
Friendship…
Uhmm.. I get too attached to people, to the point that I wanna talk, eat and hang with them for almost all the time… (it feels weird cause I sometimes distance myself to others, I’m sort of an anti-social person?)
Is the friendship still neccesarry if one of you don’t do the thing you usually do due to an unexplainable problem or happenings?
I guess ?
I really don’t know…
What’s the point of calling yourself a friend if you don’t even treat your friend right?
What’s the point of calling yourself a friend when you make issues out of small and stupid stuffs?
What’s the point of it?
Yea friends come and go, but why does it have to hurt so bad when one does leaves you? I’ve been unfriend, unfollowed by many people but why does it scars when she also did it.
Yea I’ve gained and lost friends that are very important to me but why do I feel guilty or confused? When I’ve lost her?
Is it because I got used to her being around?
Is it because I can share most of my nonsense to her?
Or because she makes me feel special?
I’m starting to hate myself for doing stupid and immature things
I started going home early cause seeing her happy without me as a friend is just unbearable, the feeling of being the bestfriend turning to a stranger is just heartbreaking…
I’ve said and done things that I’m not really proud of..
I even thought of unfollowing her and unfriending her (it’s supposed to be befriending -.- stupid fb).
I’m think and act okay when she’s aroung is just foolish…
I act like nothing happened like I don’t know her…
well to finish this stupid post…
I’ll admit that I really miss her…
It sucks that I can’t tell it to her, why can’t I just say it to her?
Why can’t I just walk to her and do things like we used to?
Why not fix the problem?
Why can’t I ?
Someone said it was pride…
I don’t know…
I just don’t know…
You don’t really know what’s the worth of something or someone until its gone…
I’m sorry for acting immature
I’m sorry for not talking to you in person
I’m sorry for the stupid things I’ve said that offended you in some ways
Even though I think that my apologize aren’t ever enough
I just wish that things would be like the old times…
#captain…
EVE’S APPLE ♥
No make-up, powder, & even lipgloss ON.
NO SHOWER. HahahahaAng lakas ng loob ko magpicture paggising (kunwari chix). Breakfast ko kasi apple so naalala ko agad si @kaynamayyoe =)) Gusto ko lang malaman mo Cap’n, na meron akong apple. Hahahaha Dejk. Namimiss lang kita :”“”) Hindi kita nagreet kahapon. TSS -.-HAPPY NEW YEAR CAP’N KO ^______^ :*
P.S
Ang sexy ko ‘no? =))))
P.S mo muka mo -.-
Smile = )
you will see me happy.. i guess most of the time..
cause seriously when you look at the bright side..
I have them..
my FRIENDS and my FAMILY.
yes i know they sometimes don’t understand what i’m going through
but at least they were there when i need them = )
cause believe it or not .. all i ask for is for them to listen..
but when there’s no one who can ..
that really upsets me..
you might not see me..
cause I walk away..
i’m not avoiding company..
i guess i just need some time to think
don’t know why ..
but when i think ..
shzz i overthink ..
then i get sad..
i mean really sad..
i even cry -.-
long story short.
I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING LEFT ALONE…
-Kayoe Llewel Garcia-Mariano Echavia-Ocampo
Who’s your DADDY? nakita ko sa laptop ni fatherdear =’( may pinagmanahan ako ng kadramahan at kalokohan XD
Ama
Nalito ako. Di ko ulit na getz. Bilang isa sa mga nag pupumilit maging isang mabuting itay, naaawa ako bigla dun sa mga naging masamang ama o mga nawalang ama o nagwawalang ama. Kung susundan ko ang lohika nang mga kuro-kuro dito na di dapat maki sali sa araw na ito ang mga walang kwentang tatay e malamang maraming maglahong nilalang. Teka, teka, sadya atang di patas ang laban.. pilosopo na p
Kung hindi siya ang iyong naging ama, malamang ay hindi ikaw yan..o itlog ka pa rin. Aminado naman ako na mas mahal ng nakararami ang kanilang ina. Kaya nga’t mas masakit kung ang mura pa tuon sa iyo ay may naka lakip na salitang “ina” at walang dating kung magbubulalas ng “pader-paker”. Pero si Inay ay kalahati lang ni Ako at kung wala si Itay ay walang nag ta-type nito…at malamang tatay pa rin si Itay at sayang di ko naging kapatid sila utol. Ayon nga sa Salita, kasalanan ang di pag pugay sa magulangs. Take note, plural. Kailangan yung dalawa para maging ikaw yan. At kahit gaano pa ka sama, walanghiya, walang-kwenta, walang…….wala ang iyong ama, magpa salamat ka pa rin kasi andiyan ka. Gusto mo hangin ka na lang?
Minsan na akong di naniwala sa araw na ito. Ang sabi ko noon ay negosyo lang yan at parte lang ng propaganda ng kapitalistang Kano. Noong araw e wala naman nito lalo na dito sa Pinas. Di na kinailangan nang ating mga ninuno na mag imbento nang araw na to sa takot siguro na putulan sila ng ulo. Opo. Sa aking palagay ay mas madalas natin ito ginamit kay Itay, “kasi si inay ay isang kaibigan ….at si itay ay boss”. Medyo-medya nag linaw at “boom”. Isang salita kasama ng pag bati sa araw na to ang nagpa liwanag ng lahat sa akin. Happy. Hoy ama, di lang ikaw. Dapat tayong lahat ay maging masaya kasi may naging tatay tayo at magdiwang lalo na kung naging mabuti siya. Kahit naman Bertdey may Hapi sa umpisa pero ang pag bati sa araw na ito ay “technically” para sa ating lahat. Eto na yung parte na pi-pindutin mo ang “like”.
Napaka buti ng aking Ama. Kahit ako ay nagtataka bakit di man lang ako mangalahati sa kabutihan niya. Siguro dahil sa Internet. Marami sa atin, mga daddy, ay inaasam-asam maging perpekto sa harap ng anak, maging isang mabuting ehemplo sa kanilang pag laki. Marami naman ay tulad ng isdang sumi-singhap singhap, pilit lang ng pilit na huwag ma lunod sa kasalanan. Yung iba “floating”. May ilan sa ating mga ama, (maraming kokontra at mag iisip mag “unlike”) ay ayaw naman mag baliktad ng suot na damit. Ligaw na ngunit tuloy pa rin, liko pa rin ng liko sa kaliwa, liko-liko, luko-luko, at di iniisip na wala itong hahantungan tulad ng sabi ni Jeprox, Pa-ikot ikot. Pero nakuha ko ito kay Itay…LAHAT sila, tao din. Tadhana na lang ang mag sasabi kung magbabago siya o hindi. Lahat tayo ay “Anak ng Tadhana”…o dating grupo ni Beyonce.
Makulit na si apo. Sabi ko sa kanya sa tatay na niya siya magpa sama at di pa ako tapos mag post. “Ikaw na mag sabi kay Papa, aniya,…di ba anak mo yun?”. Teka, i-tetext ko sa kabilang kwarto. Sa huling banda, para sa katulad kong ama, sa araw na ito ay wala nang sasarap pa sa bagay na ito kung ito’y sa akin ay ibibigay. Di na bibili, pero ibini-bigay. Pwedeng ipilit pero mas masarap kung kinita at mas madalas kang makatanggap nito kung galanate ka sa pagbigay nito sa mga karapat dapat. clue: di over rated tulad ng love, nag eend sa letter O. sirit? peso. lol.
“Naw, hus yor dadi?”
Are you Happy?
A simple question ..
can be interpret in many ways..
but what would be your answer?
yes or no?
first of all what is happiness?
Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy…
but what if..
the question is added with an explanation?
you may say yes because everything is going according to plan..
yes because I got what i wanted
but what if you’re not happy?
i’ve asked this to myself..
can’t understand why I cant answer it…
I tried answering it with a yes, but i don’t really believe myself
i said yes, because of the little and simple things.. like jokes.. some moments.. laughter etc
then i start over-thinking things…
NO
why?
depression
stress
happenings
the big picture?
“positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”
hmm..
intense joy..
not really experiencing those for awhile..
happiness through friends?
having them around..
but.. the feeling is not right..
yes i do have friends, actually many friends..
but cant really believe that im accepted.
yes when im with them, i think it’s okay
but when im not, it’s like i don’t have any worth..
happiness through family?
shizz.. honestly.. im really a family guy,
i like to hang with my bros
even go shopping with my sis
but i dont really get why they think of me as a tool
in a way that if i needed something or want something it’s not possible
but if they want something from me .
ughh
it’s like it has to be my problem -.-
to end it
i think im an outcast and not really given worth -.-
and im a tool in a way that i feel like im just being used :/
keep asking this question to myself again and again .. ending with the same answer… </3
..
to the point that i dont really know why this is happening..
-Kayoe Llewel Garcia-Mariano Echavia-Ocampo
Just Another Guy…
well.. for starters
I’m an OUTCAST?
i think and feel like one…
hmmm
well…
when I was a little kid..
i’m not the outgoing type..
didn’t even talk that much due to my injuries..
i got active in some stuffs when i became a highschool student ..
joined sports, speech and other interactive clubs..
gained friends.. close ones..
but still..
can’t really feel like i’m being understood?
seems like i’m JUST ANOTHER GUY
i guess i’m a secretive type of guy..
i may be talkative and loud but in some personal stuff i’m very sensitive..
don’t know why.. =/
during 3rd yr and 4th yr as a highschool student ..
there was a event in my school ..
the student leaders were all called out and
and told to participate in the LTS..
its like 2 days at school .. overnight..
i was group with 2 classmates and many from other years lower ..
i was seated next to two girls
they were transfers…
enjoyed the long conversation with the both on them ..
really got closed.
them i became bestfriends with one
and the other one was my first love…
i got really attach to both of them
the feeling of being an outcast was gone….
i felt so happy? haha
but everything change a year after … college
things got complicated
got no more connection to the girl ..
and me and my bestfriend hardly speak to each other.. =/
i felt it again…
sure my classmates were there when i felt fragile
but still .. can’t really detach myself from being JUST ANOTHER GUY
i wanted things to change….
but it seems so hard..
cause it is ..
i dont know..
cant really express what i want to in words….
COLLEGE..
i said to myself..
don’t get too attach
but
it’s like dejavu…
I’ve got a secret crush on a girl..
then for a simple thing..
it wasn’t a secret anymore..
>,<
got really close to another girl..
to the point she calls me her bestfriend…
it felt like the old times..
i said thing are gonna change..
don’t mess things up.
long story short..
it’s pretty similar to what happen to what i’ve said earlier…
the feeling is back….
ending of a semester
things are really screwed
i left the last day with my classmates
to a day with my family
i got home early
they were gone..
they left me
i’m all alone..
i sat in front of our gate for like an hour
thinking what the hell just happen…
then the same day…
i think it’s evening …
got some news about reshuffle…
fvck..
all of the people who i wan’t to be with are at the other class..
that was really heart breaking..
im not gonna lie..
i cried..
i’ve got no one to talk to ..
i tried calling my 1st.. busy
my bestfriend (L) .. no response..
my college bestfriend (R) .. wasn’t there.. (it’s the last day..gumala cla natural -,-)
can’t talk to my family..
for 2 days. it was like everything was going downhill
=(
november 3 2012
im here lying on my bed..
making this blog.
thinking.. what will happen next?
ughh.. honestly..
i sometimes get emotional ..
im gonna miss them ..
haha their at the other class. it’s not like there gone.. haha
but still .. really gonna miss them, =(
i dont know what’s gonna happen next…
just
hope for the best?
and be ready for the worst…
-Kayoe Llewel Garcia-Mariano Echavia-Ocampo
(Source: little-blackbook, via userfri3ndly-deactivated2013011)
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